Assassination Custard Has Announced They Are Closing
Assassination Custard Has Announced They Are Closing
Words: Hannah Lemass
Images: Assassination Custard
Dublin’s ultimate hidden gem, Assassination Custard, had gained a reputation for exclusivity and mystery due to its irregular opening hours. They poked fun at themselves online, leaning into the “never open” trope. Now, sadly, the team has announced that the cult favourite has served its last meal and is closing up shop for real.
The husband-and-wife duo behind Assassination Custard, Ken Doherty and Gwen McGrath, broke the news on Instagram overnight, joking they are “trialling the ‘never open’ for real this time.” They hinted at a possible return in the future and assured followers they were busy behind the scenes.
Assassination Custard was a legend in the Irish food scene during their nine years of operation. Many of us never had the chance to experience this jewel on Kevin Street. Tucked away in an unassuming building under the signage of ‘The Little Cafe’, most passersby were unaware of the culinary tour de force hidden behind its doors. The tiny space could accommodate less than a dozen people at a time and was only open for lunch from Tuesday to Friday, with no booking system or website for would-be diners to reference. Some even speculated it was a hoax because they were “never open.”
Despite the conspiracy theories, anyone lucky enough to get a taste couldn’t help but sing its praises. Assassination Custard was raved about by every food media outlet. Matty Matheson named it his favourite spot during his 2019 visit, and it was featured on an episode of The Travel Man where Joe Lycett spent 48 hours in Dublin. Their following reached secret society-level status, with those initiated describing the meal as akin to gastronomic enlightenment.
The charm of this place will remain unmatched and unforgettable for a long time. It was a tiny, sustainability-focused hole-in-the-wall where the food depended on whatever was in season, available, and whatever Ruth and Ken fancied using. The menu, handwritten on paper bags, was a clear reflection of the unpretentious spirit of the place, fuelled by pure love and passion for the art.
In their statement, Gwen and Ken signed off by encouraging people not to take things too seriously, saying, “To anyone who never made it in or gave us abuse at the door and online, it was only lunch.” However, as many fans and culinary colleagues chorused in the comments, it was never only lunch. It was a diamond of culinary experimentation, a labour of love, and something truly special that can’t be replicated.
