5 Places to Eat if You’re Suffering Post Festival

Words: Sian Conway
Images: Instagram

Words: Sian Conway
Images: Instagram

What goes up must come down, right? The days following a festival weekend are a slog. You feel like Sisyphus pushing that boulder up the hill as you rip yourself back out of field-prancing hedonism and back to the daily grind. It’s not easy, we know.

All sorts are going on mentally and physically. So in order to make that transition back to regular life that wee bit easier, we’ve got this here guide of places that’ll feel like your mam telling you it’s all gonna be okay. From the nutrient-dense to the carb-loading and back around to the only thing that’ll really cure your ails: a pint. So take it easy. Drink your water and plan your recovery according to a trip to one of these five spots:

05

Lemon Jelly

You’re dehydrated, your liver is crying out in agony, and you haven’t eaten anything that resembles a piece of fruit in about four days. You’ve zoned in on the child in front of you on the bus watching Coco Melon on the way to work. Who knew cartoon pineapples could look so enticing? If it’s nutrients you’re after, you can’t go wrong with a wholesome breakfast.

Something solid, but not covered in grease. Lemon Jelly are the ones. A friendly wee hub that serves breakfast until 13:00. Perfect if you’re struggling to slip out of bed at a reasonable hour. Their menu is extensive but not overwhelming. It includes a “light breakfast” section if the stomach is still on the rocks. Pair that with one of the several smoothie options they have packed full of fruit and vitamins to get you back on track, and you’re laughing. The smugness of looking after your insides will have you so smug you’ll be flying high until the temptation of midweek pints rises its inevitable head.

04

Dash Burger / Saucy Cow

dash burger

Carb-loading is necessary during a festival, but just as much afterwards. It’s self-care, really. A big aul burger and a side of fries can be as healing as any facemask or hot shower. The saucier and cheesier, the better. Burgers eliminate the need to move as much as most meals require, which is not ideal when your body feels like you’ve survived a three-car pile-up after sleeping in a tent on uneven ground all weekend. The simple repetitive action of dunking chips into a pot of sauce and bringing them to your mouth is known to have restored even the weariest of souls. And diving face-first into a stacked burger is reminiscent of the person you shifted while on your Saturday night high at the main stage, just without the impending come-down and regret.

For carnivores, Dash Burger is your man. Burgers at a festival just don’t compete with this calibre of burger. They load up on the pickles, which are full of hydration salts and electrolytes, which are essential for internal recovery. And for the veggies and vegans out there, The Saucy Cow is an equal saviour which will restore your faith in the power of good fast food.

03

Carved

There’s a reason why sandwiches are so popular. They’re an incredible vehicle for consuming food. You get your protein. Your veggies. And whatever the hell else you want, all bundled up nicely between two slices of bread. Sometimes I find the bouncing back from a night (or weekend) of going at it a little bit harder than usual. On those days, no matter how much Dioralyte or Solpadeine I get into my system, my stomach will say, “Not tonight, pal” at every suggestion of food. Until lunchtime when, regardless of how raggedy I’m still feeling, I can’t deny myself any longer. This is what I call Sandwich Time. Where I spend 40 minutes ogling the Instagram feeds of premium sandwich establishments in the city.

Carved is in there every single time. Like the above burger joints, it’s a saucy, cheesy affair. But it’s a little less full-on when I’m still not sound of stomach. They use fresh ingredients that sing of nutrition with each bite. Solid enough to give your body the energy it needs to heal, but not too heavy. It’s an invitation to being okay again. Setting the groundwork for opening the doors so I can hopefully enjoy another meal later in the day.

02

The Circular & Coke Lane Pizza

If you’re a hair-of-the-dog person, this is for you. After any period of heavy imbibing comes the famous oath, “I’m never drinking again”. Some people are better than others at sticking to that. I, on the other hand, find that really the only thing that will cure me is a pint. Preferably paired with a soft, chewy, tomatoey Neapolitan pizza. It’s a combination finer than anything else in this world — exponentially more so when you feel like you’re fighting for your life post-festival.

The dark walls and plush booths of The Circular are perfect for sinking down into and pretending the rest of the world doesn’t exist while you sip. And The Coke Lane kitchen sat next to the bar means you don’t have to forage far for something to sip and to savour. This can be done solo. But is much better done with your equally-as-decrepit festival crew. So you can be thankful for a weekend well-enjoyed while immersing yourself back into society.

01

Xian Street Food

When all the above won’t work, you know what you need: a spice bag. For many, it’s the only option they’ll entertain. The one thing that guarantees to chase all the scaries away. After a weekend of hedonism, you may think to yourself that a takeaway is unnecessary. But that’s where you would be wrong because when has that ever been the case before? Who has ever denied the comfort and culinary complexity of a spice bag?

No self-respecting person, anyway. But for those who really can’t be swayed, Xian Street Food is more than just its salt and chilli chips and chicken. They’ve got Roujiamo (which are like a Chinese sloppy joe), curries and noodle dishes. Rice noodles also contain B12, so getting yourself i is aiding the recovery process.

But ultimately, the spice bag will always be the winner when you finally drop your camping accoutrement on the floor of your apartment, delirious with exhaustion and hunger. The lean protein in chicken helps keep you full for longer. It prevents blood sugar spikes and running to the cupboard to demolish a pack of biscuits or whatever else has hung around since the last grocery shop. Chicken also contains B12, which helps fight depression which we all need after a heavy weekend. It’s not as expedient as a box of dry wedges from your local Spar. But it is always worth it, closing the gap between satiation and a good night’s sleep.

Elsewhere on CHAR: What to Eat When You’re on an MDMA Come Down